Tuesday, 12 February 2008

Naad-algia

When I read Jiby's take on blogging, I was reminded of the stimuli behind the creation of this blog. At a time when I felt acutely stressed for the first time as it wrapped around me like a bell jar vacuum, at a time when the desired outcome was solely square within my reach, I alt-tabbed to searches on things close to my heart to assuage whatever -algia was tearing me inside. Link after link, hungry for information, I pored over every word and punctuation and even the html sources in some cases, to try and precipitate from the amalgam of bloggers' thoughts and memories a smelling salt of sorts which would jolt me back to a past I had left behind.

Reading through the posts of a network of core bloggers, I found incredible solace and relished drowning in the memories that came flooding back. I wish to forget everything else of those few days save for those blogs I read. After that trying time, I began to regularly follow those five or so blogs and now that list has grown to around thirty. Whether they were anecdotes hanging onto the pallu of the recipes posted, or Pinteresque surreal humour fused into tales of appachans and muthashis of yore braving technology and culture in the new century, or picturesque word paintings of childhoods and college years at a time when paisa coins were actually worth something - at least enough to buy narangamuttayi or a chaya, or impassioned and reasoned pleas for reform of unfairness and injustice still endemic in the social and cultural milieux, or just valippu scenes from the mill of daily routine still tickling the spot and eliciting giggles years later; I savour each word with a fervour some might call homesickness or nostalgia and some others might cynically mutter "Mutathe mullake manamilla".

If at least to add my share to those tiny portions of life (real, imagined or exaggerated) spewing forth into the blogosphere, I started this blog. I, the entity which precipitates out from the stories and thoughts in the posts, am slowly being created with each post out there. My main motivation is enjoying the reminscences and being party to moulding life into prose... ordinary lives, but saddled with meaning: a personal meaning conveyed through each of a blogger's posts, that often gets lost otherwise in the thick of surviving the day.

6 comments:

silverine said...

Very good post! Really enjoyed reading this refreshing piece. It has said a lot of things I could never articulate.

nmouse said...

Thanks a lot. Sometimes when you read something or hear something or see something, it spurs something inside which tips you over the edge and suddenly you're itching to get whatever is inside out on a piece of paper. That's what happened here and I'm glad you enjoyed being next to the epicentre for this one. Though, to be fair, I've already been primed and shaken by your posts; the same can be said for a few others too.

Jiby said...

good stuff...read some of your previous posts...it is writing that comes from the heart...we are similar in that being away from home stoked the writer in me too.

i suspect your are a loyolite too...the prayer and the break timings in your juvenile ritual posts gave me the idea.

good luck!

sra said...

That's a really nice post, very well put. The last part, about the motivation, is very poignant.

nmouse said...

jiby - What keen eyes you've got there, grandpa! :-) Thanks for dropping in.

It's not just the separation that pricks you; it's when you think of the choices and life you would have made had you not gone away, that which you see reflected in your friends and family who are far away. But it's not regret either, for the sacrifices are justified by the life you've gained. It's a tug within you, which is quelled temporarily by watching Kilukkam or finding curry leaves in your curry, gobbling up Onam sadya amongst friends from all religions and even sharing stereotypes! (now, also reading blogs! :O)

sra: Thank you! I find the blog is a great leveller in bringing people together with the similar thoughts and feelings. I, for example, have a chronic vested interest in food! :D

usha said...

that was a nice post!

guess I would've written just that if I were to write about the blogosphere and its influence on lesser mortals..